In Nov 2025, at the war memorial at Kranji Singapore, the choir sang ‘Abide with Me’ at the Remembrance Day Service as we remembered the fallen. The tears ran down my face, as I recalled singing this same hymn at my father’s and my mother’s funerals.
But something was missing.
For many years, I’ve avoided going to Remembrance Sunday events because I would feel uncontrollable fury.
Out-of-control, inexplicable, total red-hot fury.
This year was different. This year I didn’t feel it. And it was a big realization, that I had pivoted my awareness away from my victim mindset of blame and complaint.
And in that moment, I had this flash of inspiration. I realised that my previously inexplicable sense of fury was inherited, it was not mine. It was my family’s fury. I realized that I was integrating not just my own shadow of victimization but that of my entire ancestors.
