No one is coming to f33king save you
When I first started to write books, I thought that if I could stop one man from harming someone else or himself then it would have been all worthwhile. I almost died twice trying to sacrifice myself to save my wife, and I had no idea why I was doing it. And, I didn’t want to see someone else doing the same.
I’m still leaning into that after seven years, but it’s only since my 56th birthday did I finally realise that I had to save myself first before helping anyone else. No one was coming to fucking save me. You might very well ask me why it's taken me five years since I moved to Singapore to get to this point in my recovery.
My grandmother’s angry emotional abuse of my grandfather and my father was a role model for me of what a man had to do to love a woman.
My mother had the same angry abusive approach with me from when I was 2 until I left home.
I thought it was normal to live with someone that was as angry and as damaged as my grandmother and my mother. And given how they were treated in their own childhoods I can understand why they were that angry.
The issue is that I thought that was normal. I inherited their addiction to drama and self-hatred.
I thought that in order for your woman to love you, you just have to take the scolding and blame and try harder. And you repeat that cycle with every new relationship. If you ask my ex-wives I know that both have a massive list of blame and shame about my behaviour that they use to avoid talking about theirs.
Looking back in hindsight, I can now understand why both my and their emotional intelligence was so low - because of the addiction to drama. Which is why I’m writing my new book.
I’ve been to professional psychologists at multiple points over those 50 years to ask for help and none of them have been able to explain my addiction to drama and my lack of emotional intelligence in the way that I have in my new book.
But there’s a much bigger call to action in my book. It’s not just about saving yourself first.
There are a huge number of folk who spend a large proportion of their day addicted to drama, and the rest of the time numbing themselves out from the self-hatred they feel about being trapped in the addiction to drama. Like I did.
This is why my new book is so provocatively titled “Fight for your freedom or die trying. No one is coming to fucking save you.”
The reason I am being provocative is because these folk are also like lambs being led to the slaughter by being fed poisoned food and water, and their DNA analysed to determine when they will die. When it becomes unprofitable to treat them then their healthcare insurance is denied. They don’t even get access to palliative pain relief. They die.
Social media and television are designed to make people fearful and overwhelmed so that they continue to numb themselves out and ignore this situation.
People need to become before profits. There are billionaires who make a case that empathy is overrated so that they can justify the ethics of killing people for profit. Just like the message above the gates of Auschwitz.
This IS industrialised genocide and it needs to be stopped.
No one is coming to f33king save you
I watch people physically wince when I say that line out loud.
It’s not just the casual profanity that makes them wince.
It’s the acknowledgment of the truth that being saved by someone else is an illusion, that has them wince.
Most folks are in denial that this is going on with them, and being confronted with it lights up their addiction to drama and it makes them physically uncomfortable.
The more we idealize the past and refuse to acknowledge our childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation. Dr Alice Miller
Our addiction to drama is why we love the concept of salvation so much.
It’s why we vote for thugs who promise to ‘save us’ from the bogey-man of immigration, to ‘save us’ from the high taxes from inefficient government and to ‘save us’ from the ‘deep-state’ perverting our children.
Dr Alice Miller studied the abusive parenting methods of 1800s Germany that led to the rise of the Nazi party, and she found it was those without a true connection to themselves that were more likely to respond to the message of salvation, and join the Nazi party.
The greatest gift we can give ourselves is the death of our addiction to drama.
The drama that we’ve been trapped in since childhood.
And, it is not just about us.
Our children & our community are disengaged and fearful.
So I’m not doing this for just myself.
I’m doing this for you, as kindness to a stranger who is yet to become my friend.
Because the death of addiction to drama, and the uplift in emotional and social intelligence that follows self-knowledge, creates human beings who deeply care for themselves and each other.
I’m doing it for my children and my community.
Because fighting for our self-knowledge, self-benevolence, and self-sovereignty gives us the power to say ‘no’ to the industrialised genocide where we get fed poisoned food and water, and then our lives are terminated by an AI making a profit decision. This will create a world where people get to choose how they want to live and die rather than dying based on the profit outcomes of the billionaires.
When we take ownership of our own addiction to drama and take the actions necessary to grow then we get peace for ourselves and for our planet.
The death of our addiction to drama IS the path to world peace.
Our children & our communities need to see, hear, and feel that to be true.
What I have to offer you, my future friends, is the fastest most effective synthesis of all the emotional clearing techniques that I have practiced over the last twenty years.
These emotional clearing techniques rapidly and effectively improve your quality of consciousness to deliver massive upgrades in your:
Confidence from your solid foundation of self-knowledge;
Health and vitality that springs eternal from your self-benevolence; and,
Power to say ‘no’ from unshakable self-sovereignty.
Dealing with your own shadows is not comfortable, it’s confronting. You will feel some pain and grief in the changes in your relationships to yourself and to your loved ones. It will fundamentally change how you engage with the world and what you will and will not tolerate. These changes will be incremental. For some of us there will be challenging circumstances that will require deep fortitude and persistence.
For example, the brilliant footballer Sam Kerr was recently prosecuted for calling the London police “fucking stupid and white” and she won the court case because her defence of ‘truth’ was accepted by the jury. Sam Kerr should never have been prosecuted. This prosecution was driven by the shadow of vanity hiding their addiction to drama. Vanity drove the “fucking stupid and white” men to the point that their desire to prosecute Sam Kerr over-rode their common sense. Sam Kerr said “No.”
She chose not to tolerate their bullshit drama. This is a wonderful example of self-sovereignty - the power to say no to dickheads.
I am here to impregnate your mind with the seeds of your own freedom from your addiction to drama.
Freedom is the truth of self-knowledge.
Freedom is the ‘putting ourselves first’ love of self-benevolence.
Freedom is the ‘power-to-say-no’ of self-sovereignty.
I can show you the way to kill your addiction to drama to get to this freedom by becoming deeply connected to yourself.
My next book “Fight for Your Freedom or Die Trying” launches on 25 May.
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