Keeping our heart open during difficulties
Asking for help is not enough. We also have to be willing to receive it
It was in 2019 when I first encountered emotional clearing and spiral dynamics and it was like a home-coming for me. I started it in August and completed it in October. The unconscious emotions that had been blocking me had been cleared and I felt a true sense of inner peace.
But I was still burned out and broke. A previous colleague had moved to Singapore and posted a note onto LinkedIn to say that she was searching for people. I applied and did several interviews, but heard nothing.
I had many sources of funds where I could borrow, but I didn’t want to borrow from them because I had no way of knowing how I could pay them back.
In hindsight, it’s clear that I was blocking myself from receiving. And the anxiety of that was huge.
On Christmas Eve 2019, I was so broke I had no way to buy food for Xmas Day. I had a friend arrange for me to get some food to feed myself and my kids over Xmas. A woman, an angel, who I’d never met before, texted me and I went to meet her. In the past, I would have been too ashamed and embarrassed to respond to her text, never mind go to meet her.
In my own mind, I had reached absolute rock bottom. I had friends that had money, I knew I could reach out to them and borrow, but I didn’t want to because I had no idea how I could pay them back.
I had done the emotional clearing and that had taught me to trust in myself and despite getting to the desperation point of no food for myself and my family for Christmas - I was still not open to receiving.
My upbringing had taught me that I wasn’t allowed to get love unless I was “doing the right thing”. When I met her, I burst into tears. I cried with shame and relief. It hurt.
She gave me a quick hug, patted me on the back and handed me a bag of food. This angel that I met on Christmas Eve had shown me that love was unconditional and that I could accept a gift without it coming with a side-dish of punishment.
Within four hours of that meeting, I got a phone call with a verbal job offer. Two days after Xmas, the proposed contract arrived for my job in Singapore and I signed it.
I had unblocked my ability to receive. This was the integration process of emotional clearing doing its work eight weeks after I had completed it.
I now had a way of paying back my family and friends. I knew that my family and I would be ok. So I asked for help, borrowed some more money and got myself to Singapore. And when the first salary was credited to my bank account, my anxiety began to lift.
We ALL have shit that we need to sort out that is blocking us from changing jobs, starting a new business and creating adventures. Shit that had me self-sabotaging, shit that was blocking my authentic voice, shit that was stopping me from contributing to my family, my friends and myself. Shit that was blocking me from receiving love. We just need to trust that being open to receive will deliver the outcomes we are looking for.
Emotional clearing got my shit sorted out and allowed me to create a life of delicious adventure.
Asking for help is not enough. We have to be willing to receive it too. Where in your body do you feel the emotions when we ask ourselves the following questions?
What stops us from making timely investments in our wealth?
Where are we not open to receive money?
Where are we blocking ourselves from receiving love in our relationships?
Why do we find it hard to find time to invest in our self-care?
Being open to receive, sets us up to step into our inner power.
When we are children we witness the drama and, with no other role models, then we think that behaviour is normal.
We then embed this knowledge into our bodies as muscle-memory, just like we do when we learn to play tennis, ride a bike or drive a car.
We all have the drama triangle programmed into our unconscious by our upbringing.
The drama triangle is our legacy of unconscious incompetence in our emotional wellbeing.
The drama triangle is a big liability hidden in the middle of our psychological capital that we don’t even know is there.
To truly step into our inner power, we look at the drama triangle that we have inherited from our families.