Angry as F*** but no idea why?

The process of becoming an author of an Amazon #1 bestseller

When I first started to write, I thought if I could stop one man from harming himself or someone else then it would be worthwhile. 

I was fully embodied into the saviour archetype - and I was writing to help save the men who felt like they were trapped with no way out. I wrote on and off for three years with no idea about how I would manifest my writing into a book.

It was when I joined a workshop called “Write your book in a week” that I really connected with why I was writing.

I realised that I wasn’t writing to try to save men, I was writing because I was still trying to save my grandmother from her pain, distress and anger more than 20 years after she had died.

So I wrote my first book about my grandmother and her anger, and it was called “Angry as F*** but no idea why?”

I finished my book in a week, and I also realised I had enough material to write another two books - to cover all three points on the drama triangle. 

My second book was about saviour consciousness, and it was called “Rescuer in Recovery. No one is f***ing coming to save you.” 

My third book was called “I’m F***ing Done” and it was written about divorce and victim consciousness. It was written as a guide for anyone who has reached the end of their tether in a relationship and they’ve got to that very moment when they realise that they can’t take it any more and something has to change. And then they have no idea what to do next.

In the book, it talks about what to do next when you’ve reached that very moment when that thought crystallises. It takes you through each step of the process of grief. It gives you guidance on how to negotiate your way out. The book gives you the structure to choose what you want, and tells you what the common mistakes that I and many other folks have made when they’ve reached that point. 

I’ve coached many clients through separation and divorce over the last 10 years and we’ve faced into some very difficult circumstances with ex-partners taking their own lives, repeated pathological lying that resulted in deportation for an entire family, one partner trying to psychologically torture the other while they were sleeping, lawyers acting unethically and families & friends treating the situation like it’s reality television entertainment and creating massive drama just because they can.

The antidote to victim consciousness is taking responsibility for ourselves, but if you’ve been brought up in a family that doesn’t have any good role models for doing that, then where do you start? In the book, I also talk about why we make mistakes - and how we got to making them in the first place. I explain what good choices look like, and what the consequences of the bad choices are.

And I use the drama triangle to explain it all and show how emotionally we move from victim consciousness to rescuer to aggressor and back again. Underlying divorce is victim consciousness - and that’s what the book is really about.

When you write a book - you are the book because you embody the book as you write it. The anger, the saviour and the victim are all present as you create, and embodying the drama triangle gave me a vulnerability hangover each time I published. Each book was an Amazon #1 bestseller, and I got amazing feedback from the people that read it.

In the last 12-18 months I transitioned to working with entrepreneurs and professional women who were ready to step up into their next challenge - and I called the coaching program ‘Ready-to-Rise’.

My clients created the most delicious adventures for themselves and got their sh*t sorted out in the process. Two of my clients gave birth while we were working together and it was a privilege to be part of supporting that transformation in their lives.

I found it amazingly joyful and I loved it, and it’s why I started to write again. And I finally feel like I became an author while writing it. The first three books were me ‘cleaning out the pipes’, and I couldn’t have written this book without having done that.

And so my next book was created, “Making Darkness Visible. Creating delicious adventure and getting your sh*t sorted” because that’s exactly what my clients experienced. 

Like me, they faced into their own darkness, got their sh*t sorted out and are living lives of delicious adventure traveling the world with their babies.

I am an author. I am a stand for people taking responsibility for their own emotional wellbeing, creating lives of delicious adventure and getting their sh*t sorted out.

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