Accessing our inner power
Unconscious drama blocks us from accessing our inner power
The ‘drama triangle’ is a set of three personality archetypes.
The points on the drama triangle are victim consciousness, saviour consciousness and aggressor consciousness.
Victim consciousness is a state of being emotionally overwhelmed by the feeling that we have no choice to submit to being overpowered. Let me be really clear - real victims need justice for the crimes committed against them. I’m not talking about justice here. What I’m talking about is the illusion of being unconsciously trapped by our own feelings of disempowerment. That is victim consciousness.
The upside of victim consciousness is that we get to blame everyone else for our circumstances and how we feel. The Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial was a race to the bottom of the barrel of victim consciousness. Two Hollywood vanities with wounded pride trying to prove which one of them was the biggest victim.
When we want to get away from feeling like a victim, then we get aggressive because we want to take back our power. Anger is useful because the energy forces us to find an escape from the circumstances of victimhood. However, there are people who feel so trapped by life, that they stay angry all the time, because it has the illusion of power.
As angry people who desire the illusion of power, we look to be righteous in our anger. And we step into the saviour archetype, so that we are ‘justified’ when we make someone else a victim. Just like the character played by Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. The trap of the saviour consciousness is that it gives us the illusion that we are “always right”. We’re then locked-in to the mindset of “I’d rather be dead than be wrong.”
When we are enrolled in drama then we bounce from point to point around the drama triangle. Victim consciousness, saviour consciousness and aggressor consciousness.
The way out of the drama triangle isn’t to reject the archetypes, it’s to recognise and be aware of them and be able to catch ourselves when we feel strongly about something and determine if we’re in the drama or not. We’re also not trying to “rise above it all” and spiritually bypass ourselves from being engaged with life on earth.
The archetypes of the drama triangle are highly useful to us.
We’re not trying to stop ourselves from feeling angry - we’re giving ourselves the conscious choice to choose to be angry or not. Anger is useful to give us the necessary energy to enforce boundaries.
We’re not stopping ourselves from choosing to ‘save’ someone, but we are making a conscious choice about the prioritisation of our energy.
We’re not stopping ourselves from the ‘overwhelm’ feelings of victim consciousness because it shows us where our boundaries are absent or missing.
Being integrated means that we act from conscious choice, not from unconscious drama. Choosing not to act from victim consciousness gives us the capability to create our own destiny. Choosing not to automatically jump into save someone gives us the capability to choose self-care. Choosing not to be triggered by injustice into becoming angry gives us the capability to lead ourselves from inspiration not frustration.
Becoming self-aware about the drama-triangle is the first step We have to ask ourselves:
Where do I block myself from asking for what I truly desire because I’m frightened of rejection?
Where does my righteousness trigger me to jump in to ‘save’ someone and I end up enrolled in the drama? This one can be quite a tricky one to unpack. E.g.
Many of us believe ourselves to be empathetic, and yet when we empathise, we then find that absorbing the energy of others is completely overwhelming, it makes us sick and we need time-out to recover.
Could it be that we’re actually really really good at being hyper-vigilant to avoid threats and we just think that we are empathetic?
Where does my pride create a trigger that sparks my anger?
The very next step is learning to say no to drama.
Saying “No,” is a full sentence.
Our ability to confidently give AND receive a ‘no’ is our inner power. Being confident in our ‘no’ clears the space for us to effectively communicate our desires, because not only are we ok with saying ‘no’, we are ok with receiving a ‘no’.
Emotional clearing creates conscious awareness and choice when deciding to engage in the drama or not, and it creates the space for us to step into our inner power.